Theo seeks aspiring Systems Administrator

A while ago, I posted looking for an aspiring developer and somehow the blogosphere delivered. Here's my second attempt.

OmniTI (currently) manages hundreds of machines running pretty much every flavor of operating system imaginable (almost zero Windows). We manage systems, routers, switches, load balancers, storage area networks -- basically, every operational component of today's large architectures. If you've ever seen me speak, I think one of the things that entertains people the most is the amusing anecdotes. With big systems processing critical business transactions, when @#$% hits the fan, the faint of heart end up with a moist seat.

Currently, we're looking for a junior SA to learn what it is to manage large systems. And like my previous post, here are some rules of engagement:

  • If you call having spare parts having a "failover," I'll beat you with a stick.
  • If you have important data that doesn't sport a backup and retention policy, I'll make you write oxymoron on the white board a hundred times, then I'll beat you with a stick.
  • If you call a service production and you don't get paged when it breaks, I'll page you -- with a stick.
  • If you think documenting how you install and configure software jeopardizes job security, I'll beat you with two sticks: the mighty stick of literacy and the stinging cane of vanity.
  • If the idea of your operating systems kernel panicking when you try to mount your database's filesystem makes you want to wet your pants, bring a towel to work.

"Is this job right for me?" you might ask...

  • Claiming Oracle is slow on your system because you didn't compile it yourself is like saying your phone will dial faster with a spoiler on it.
  • If you think any one operating system "does everything right," become a kool-aid salesman.
  • If you think Gentoo is rice, become a sushi chef.

If you're interested in playing with big toys in an agile 24x7 environment, then feel free to apply. Send your resume to jobs at omniti dot com.

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